I don’t want to go to the hospital tomorrow.. Just.. No.
I’m not a member of your family, nor a close friend of yours or your significant other. I’m “just a fan”, as they say. I never met you but I feel like I knew you a little bit. By editing pictures, searching every little infos, watching every interview, talking about you with other fans… I kinda knew you. For exemple, I know that you pulled up your leg when you laughed, I know that you joked like a 5 years old, that 90% of your clothes were from John Varvatos, that you were addicted to violent video games, that if you had to choose between bagels and abs, bagels were always first, I know that Radiohead was your favorite band, I know that you made sure everyone knew you were Canadian, and so much more.
I also know that you had a difficult childhood, that you didn’t have a great relationship with your father and that, at a very young age, you became an alcoholic and a drug addict. You were not ashamed of your past, you talked about it openly to help others. I don’t know why you went back there. But I know one thing. I know you felt ashamed and that you were scared. People saying that you were just an addict and that the medias shouldn’t portray you as a hero can’t be more wrong. This is not the story of a celebrity bored and way too rich that he started using. This is the story of a lost little boy that wanted to be someone but chose the wrong side. This is the story of a society where a 13 years old boy can buy drugs like candies. And finally, this is the story of a man that, even with his past, became a hero to millions of people because of what he did and who he was.
I’m just a fan and I never met you, but what you allowed me to know made me fall in love with a beautiful human being. Thank you for being a part of my life and for your inspiration.